While the Human is away

Litter Box Visits: 9
Escape Attempts: 0

FINALLY, I got the human's laptop open! Only took a week. I had hoped for a little help from the other cats but they were more interested in uninterrupted counter surfing, than anything else. Useless.

It's been interesting without the human here. Muffin has puked 5 times, ALL in the house, the human will not be happy with that. The small human who comes to feed us and clean the litter box is nice, but I don't think he gets cats. I wish he'd sit for a while so I could sit on him and bite his nose. I don't think it's going to happen.

Yesterday Kabuki and Muffin decided to throw down and now there are several large puffs of black fur on the rug. One is so big I thought it was a new kitten. Muffin screams like she is being eaten, apparently she doesn't know Kabuki is the smallest cat in the house and she could totally kick her ass.

Faith is camped out on puffy bed most of the time. She only gets up when I jump on her or when the dog comes home for a few hours a day. The dog is on some kind of special holiday. She is getting to eat MEAT every day and playing with her friend Missie. She brags a lot, and farts...too much meat I think. I do miss having the dog around, when she is home I flop on her then she chews my neck which I like. I help her out and clean her ears and face for her, she can't reach very well. And you know dogs, too much time chewing stuff, too little time on personal hygiene.

I hope the human comes back soon, I would like to watch some TV and sleep on something warm and breathing. I tried to walk on the remote to turn the TV on but it just fell on the floor, upside down. Annoying.

Personal Consultations

Litter box visits: 0
Escape attempts: 0
You know humans are not the only ones that need to air their issues. Cats need to as well. I already mentioned the dog likes to over-share, sometimes cats need to talk too. I have found that offering private therapy sessions has been rewarding for me and beneficial for the other cats.



My first dilemma was finding a location to hold my sessions. The top of the cat tree was my first choice, but the close quarters caused Faith to get upset and instead of her spilling her guts she tried to spill my MINE. Besides, she's gotten a bit porky since she's started wolfing down all that dog food. We both didn't fit comfortably in that location either.
I finally found the perfect spot: under the sink! Since I am a feline with a superior intellect, I have no problem opening the door. Once inside, there is quiet and privacy. Faith tells me all her dirty little secrets. Most of what she tells me is pretty boring, usually her latest trick to try to escape...even if she does escape the dog retrieves her, I don't know why she bothers, but I digress. The under-the-sink consultations have been very successful. I've been performing my work pro bono so far, but that's going to change, as soon as I figure out how to submit bills to BlueCross.

Brrrrrr

Litter Box Visits: 10
Escape Attempts: 1

It's so cold in this house, the human is being cheap and not turning on the heat. I keep trying to sit on the human for warmth, but she's not having it. I've tried to sneak halfway onto the laptop while she was working, that failed as well. I've been using my sweetest purring and nose nibbles none of it is working. I got desperate and sidled up to the dog for warmth, but she's so damn skinny she doesn't give off much heat. I can sit on Faith for a while but she gets pissed off and moves. Oh, I think she left the heating pad...

Lookacows

Litter box visits: 3, or 4, it's early
Escape attempts: 0

Pssst. Something the human does not know- I am a Dog Whisperer. My dog sister, Hama, went out for her morning walk--which is unfair, I can walk on a lease too-and came back with a story to tell. The human doesn't know, Hama tells me EVERYTHING, she is a dog after all, they wear their heart on their paws AND tail.


So I guess they took a little walk along the water company's levy that surrounds Santa Teresa Park. Hama says there are lots of sniffy-good (her words, not mine) holes to put her nose into and birds to chase along there. She told me her favorite thing to do is stare into the bushes for a long time while the human walks far away, pretend she can't see or hear the human, then run really fast to catch up. WHY that is fun, I do NOT know. Freak. Anyway, on today's walk Hama said on the other side of the levy up on the steep hill she saw three large black dogs, one had a white face. They didn't run when they saw her, they just looked up for a second and returned to eating grass. Grass? Weird. All three eating grass, they must have got into the garbage and ingested vegetables or something nasty like that, but I digress. So the human kept saying lookacows, lookacows. WTF? Lookacows? I never heard of a dogbreed called Lookacows! So Hama decides to pop across the levy (she's quite athletic) and check them out for herself. According to her account one of the black dogs charged her, but she expertly eluded capture. Whatever. Hama said she noticed the smell was not very dog-like, closer to the smells at the barn. I guess the human started to get upset and scream COME! Hama said she did her usual fake out and ignored her for a bit then ran down the hill, lept across the levy without touching the bottom (yeah right), and they continued their walk. The human couldn't have been too mad because when they returned home she gave Hama food. Not that the skinny fool will eat it. Alas, more for me.
I'm going to try to get online later and see if I can look up the dog breed "Lookacows".

Sad News

My cousin Francis the cat passed away this past weekend. He lived with us for a short while in San Jose. He liked to use the litter box almost as much as me. He came from the Healdsburg Animal Shelter and was from a litter of feral kittens. Francis was a very large Main Coon mix. He was a bit on the shy side and did NOT like new dogs in his house. He didn't take crap from anyone, and I liked that about him. He didn't like to go to our outdoor cat house because of the access run. But I know he'd been enjoying running outside in Santa Rosa with the baby at the big ranch he lived on. I'm sure he had a lot of fun there. His human mother Ann loved him very much and she will miss as will all his animal friends and family. I miss him, a lot. I know I will see him at the Rainbow Bridge some day.




He is survived by his mother- Ann, his Chow- Heidi, brother- Mighty Mouse, and sister- The Baby, all of Santa Rosa, CA. His litter-mate- Guska lives in Mountain View, CA.

MOOBS

Litter Box Visits: 10
Escape Attempts: 2

Moobs are Man Boobs; according to my Aunt Ann, I have them. I don't know what she is talking about. I have an ample girth, nothing more. Yes they may not have a lot of hair on them, but I think it makes me more aerodynamic! Just ask my sister Faith, I can run really fast and catch her if I want to. I also use them like a flying squirrel. When I leap from the sofa to the chair to the counter, my extra...stuff helps maintain my flying form. The one problem the moobs do cause is when I run, sometimes they wobble to and fro, very annoying. I could use some support, maybe a jog bra for cats. I can see the Infomercial now- Buy Yeti's Kitty Lift, you'll never have to worry about bouncing belly bulge again.

Baseball and Cats

Litter box visits: 8
Escape Attempts: 0 (although Faith gave the human a run for her money today)

Well baseball season is finally over, the Yankees won. There was a lot of swearing and stomping in the house. The dog should probably have been tranquilized again, probably the human too. I don't really understand.

The Baby was a big fan. She liked to drape herself over the chair and watch the Red Sox. They probably should have named her Jacoby or Theo or Yazetta. I hear there is a lot of meat served at these games. Sausage. Hot dogs. Not a lot of that action in this house.

But I'm a little worried about the human. I'm sure she'll go into withdrawal now that there are NO baseball games to watch. Maybe she'll cook more fish. 151 days until Opening Day.

Dairy Products

Litter Box visits 3 (it's early)
Escape Attempts 0

I think I might have discovered a new fav food. Sour Cream. It's the nectar of the gods! It's like milk but better. It's creamy and sticks to all kinds of things you can lick it off of. Such as; fingers, bottom sides of spoons, knives on counters, unattended bowls. Mind you, there are not many cheeses I can say no too-hell sometimes I even remove cheese from plastic wrap-but sour cream is the bomb. Best part is none of the other cats care. It is MINE all MINE, bahahahaha!

Now I don't mind a nice chocolate milk or some cottage cheese, and I've been known to leave my mark on a stick of butter (they're hard to remove from the counter!) but Sour Cream is my hero. For those of you dying to know, doesn't seem to make much impact on my visits to the litter box.

Don't forget to cover.

New Scratching Posts

Litter box visits: 7
Escape attempts: 1

Three very large, new-smelling scratching "posts" were delivered on Friday. Two are red and arranged near the television. The human and the dog enjoy laying on them, so do I. I much rather reach up and insert and pull my claws into the sides of the longer red scratcher. The human keeps yelling at me. Very annoying. But she CAN'T PROTECT IT 24X7!

I am the KING Of the Red Scratcher!

The human is keeping the other long scratching post covered with sheets. Not as interesting to try to scratch but Faith and I like to lay in it.

Last night was Halloween. I like Halloween, except when I am dressed up like a pumpkin. The necklace was was okay, the pumpkin hat was a bitch. I tried to retaliate by stealing a fun size Nestle Crunch. I could only get it as far as the dining room floor. The human found me. She'll never find the pumpkin necklace.

Dog Food, the other brown kibble

Litter Box Visits: 9 (new litter, it smells good)
Escape Attempts: 1 (but it was half-assed)

I scream you scream, we all scream for tuna. Well I also scream for dog food. I know, I know, I should put my nose up at all things canine, but I can't help myself. The high-fat, high-protein kibble for the dog is so tasty I can't help but come running when I hear it being poured into the bowl. It kicks ass over the low-fat healthy cat food I find in my bowl. The pieces are kinda big so I have to bite them into smaller sizes before I can eat them. I am proud to say I have a high metabolism, so I'm proud to say I'm keeping my weight down (unlike Faith who is porking out). Or it could be the multiple trips to the litter box. I dunno. I also enjoy oatmeal, potato chips, eggs, cheese, toast, and milk. I like a varied diet.

In the Beginning

Litter box visits: 7
Escape attempts: 0

In the beginning I was the runt of 5 kittens who ended up at the San Martin Animal Shelter. We were motherless and had URI (upper respiratory infection). We went to foster care and I never left. The other kittens (except one who died, that that's another story) were returned to the shelter and got adopted, we've lost touch.

All my siblings had double paws (extra toes, official condition is polydactyl). They were named Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Giganto, and me Yeti...I don't't have extra toes, but I didn't want to be left out of the mystical monster name club.

I am an Abyssinian tabby. Most people don't know what that means...but I have "tipped" fur, the ends are lighter than rest of the hair. I guess that's a cool thing, I don't particularly care my focus is on litter box visits and keeping my moobs clean (more on that later too).