Dog Therapy

Litter Box visits: 12 (new litter, and it's de-lightful!)
Escape attempts: 2 (1 successful! Auntie DeAnna, wasn't paying attention)

The dog is going to need extensive psychological therapy. We are getting roommates. If it was just two humans I think she'd be fine, but we're getting a human AND a dog. The new dog is also a puppy, not quite a year. New Dog isn't quite smart enough to know when to back off. New Dog doesn't know that it's a bad thing to steal Faceless Faith (the Dog's favorite toy...more on F.F. later). The New Dog doesn't know NOT to walk near the Dog when she has a treat within a five foot radius, regardless if she wants to eat it or not. It wasn't pretty. There were multiple altercations while they were here visiting. Us cats pretty much ignore her hissy fits. The New Dog screamed right back at her. There was a lot of growling, moping, and showing of teeth. I'd offer the Dog a therapy session or two for free, but I don't think I can fit her under the sink. Not that she'd even go in there; she's afraid of air for god's sake!  Maybe I'll offer sofa therapy.

I think there is going to be a significant adjustment period. Why can't we all just get along?

Here I am trying to talk her out of moping

New Years Resolutions

Litter Box Visits: 10 (dog isn't eating much of her food)
Escape Attempts: 0

I am an evolved cat. During one of my deep meditative sessions this past week (in the litter box) I decided to move further down my path of enlightenment. To do this, it is always best to strive for personal improvement. Setting goals is one way to do this. Since it's a new decade, it's a good time to document my resolutions for all to see; I'll be more accountable this way:

1. Avoid dog when she has her toy or a treat nearby.
2. Determine alternate escape route from house.
3. Limit dog food consumption to .25 cups per day
4. Limit counter surfing to hours of 2-6 AM.
5. Improve cabinet opening skills
6. Learn to turn on water in sink
7. Limit Faith ass-kicking to 1-2 times per week 3 MAX!
8. Encourage human to eat more tuna.

MEDITATION is the key to enlightenment

Holidays Are Over

Dear readers I apologize for being MIA, its been a busy season for me. House cats have quite a lot to do during the holidays. There are trees to climb, ribbons to chew, swallow and travel (ahem) through your digestive track, there are shiny cat toys hanging from the tree to swat and chase around the house, there are a plethora of new delicacies to try! My favorite item has been brown, sweet-smelling kibble wrapped up in foil. It's sorta shaped like the stupid elf hat the human makes me wear this time of year. I removed several from table and shared with Muffin. Not sure what the problem was but the human temporarily changed my name to "godamned Yeti" when she saw the foil. Hmmm.




There also seems to be many new boxes to jump in and out of. Scares the dog, so what else is new? The human tried to put reindeer ears on Kabuki, but they slipped around her neck and she freaked out. She ran under the bed yelling about giant winged creatures attacking her head. She's a total drama queen. The human had to trap her to remove them. That cat seriously needs a valium. The human found a Santa beard AND hat for cats...why she has to torture me with these "outfits" I do not know.

At least I get to eat interesting things in exchange for her dress up time (the woman needs some dolls or kids). Human has no idea how many times I did some paw dips into the eggnog. Payback's a bitch and his name is YETI.

While the Human is away

Litter Box Visits: 9
Escape Attempts: 0

FINALLY, I got the human's laptop open! Only took a week. I had hoped for a little help from the other cats but they were more interested in uninterrupted counter surfing, than anything else. Useless.

It's been interesting without the human here. Muffin has puked 5 times, ALL in the house, the human will not be happy with that. The small human who comes to feed us and clean the litter box is nice, but I don't think he gets cats. I wish he'd sit for a while so I could sit on him and bite his nose. I don't think it's going to happen.

Yesterday Kabuki and Muffin decided to throw down and now there are several large puffs of black fur on the rug. One is so big I thought it was a new kitten. Muffin screams like she is being eaten, apparently she doesn't know Kabuki is the smallest cat in the house and she could totally kick her ass.

Faith is camped out on puffy bed most of the time. She only gets up when I jump on her or when the dog comes home for a few hours a day. The dog is on some kind of special holiday. She is getting to eat MEAT every day and playing with her friend Missie. She brags a lot, and farts...too much meat I think. I do miss having the dog around, when she is home I flop on her then she chews my neck which I like. I help her out and clean her ears and face for her, she can't reach very well. And you know dogs, too much time chewing stuff, too little time on personal hygiene.

I hope the human comes back soon, I would like to watch some TV and sleep on something warm and breathing. I tried to walk on the remote to turn the TV on but it just fell on the floor, upside down. Annoying.

Personal Consultations

Litter box visits: 0
Escape attempts: 0
You know humans are not the only ones that need to air their issues. Cats need to as well. I already mentioned the dog likes to over-share, sometimes cats need to talk too. I have found that offering private therapy sessions has been rewarding for me and beneficial for the other cats.



My first dilemma was finding a location to hold my sessions. The top of the cat tree was my first choice, but the close quarters caused Faith to get upset and instead of her spilling her guts she tried to spill my MINE. Besides, she's gotten a bit porky since she's started wolfing down all that dog food. We both didn't fit comfortably in that location either.
I finally found the perfect spot: under the sink! Since I am a feline with a superior intellect, I have no problem opening the door. Once inside, there is quiet and privacy. Faith tells me all her dirty little secrets. Most of what she tells me is pretty boring, usually her latest trick to try to escape...even if she does escape the dog retrieves her, I don't know why she bothers, but I digress. The under-the-sink consultations have been very successful. I've been performing my work pro bono so far, but that's going to change, as soon as I figure out how to submit bills to BlueCross.

Brrrrrr

Litter Box Visits: 10
Escape Attempts: 1

It's so cold in this house, the human is being cheap and not turning on the heat. I keep trying to sit on the human for warmth, but she's not having it. I've tried to sneak halfway onto the laptop while she was working, that failed as well. I've been using my sweetest purring and nose nibbles none of it is working. I got desperate and sidled up to the dog for warmth, but she's so damn skinny she doesn't give off much heat. I can sit on Faith for a while but she gets pissed off and moves. Oh, I think she left the heating pad...

Lookacows

Litter box visits: 3, or 4, it's early
Escape attempts: 0

Pssst. Something the human does not know- I am a Dog Whisperer. My dog sister, Hama, went out for her morning walk--which is unfair, I can walk on a lease too-and came back with a story to tell. The human doesn't know, Hama tells me EVERYTHING, she is a dog after all, they wear their heart on their paws AND tail.


So I guess they took a little walk along the water company's levy that surrounds Santa Teresa Park. Hama says there are lots of sniffy-good (her words, not mine) holes to put her nose into and birds to chase along there. She told me her favorite thing to do is stare into the bushes for a long time while the human walks far away, pretend she can't see or hear the human, then run really fast to catch up. WHY that is fun, I do NOT know. Freak. Anyway, on today's walk Hama said on the other side of the levy up on the steep hill she saw three large black dogs, one had a white face. They didn't run when they saw her, they just looked up for a second and returned to eating grass. Grass? Weird. All three eating grass, they must have got into the garbage and ingested vegetables or something nasty like that, but I digress. So the human kept saying lookacows, lookacows. WTF? Lookacows? I never heard of a dogbreed called Lookacows! So Hama decides to pop across the levy (she's quite athletic) and check them out for herself. According to her account one of the black dogs charged her, but she expertly eluded capture. Whatever. Hama said she noticed the smell was not very dog-like, closer to the smells at the barn. I guess the human started to get upset and scream COME! Hama said she did her usual fake out and ignored her for a bit then ran down the hill, lept across the levy without touching the bottom (yeah right), and they continued their walk. The human couldn't have been too mad because when they returned home she gave Hama food. Not that the skinny fool will eat it. Alas, more for me.
I'm going to try to get online later and see if I can look up the dog breed "Lookacows".